Treat your family kindly

   The Holy Quran orders us to treat our family kindly.  Almighty Allah says:

 

O believers! It is not lawful for you to become heirs to women by force. And do not retain them by force in order to take (back) from them a portion of what you gave them, unless they commit open indecency. And treat them honourably. Then if you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah places in it abundant good.  Surah Nisa (4:19)

 

If the wife is disobedient, then the husband should first talk to her, then separate her from the bed (i.e. refuse to have sexual relations with her), then the last option is to lightly beat her.  Thus, it is given in the Holy Quran:

 

But those women whom you fear will disobey and defy, admonish them; and (if they do not amend) separate them (from yourselves) in beds; and (if they still do not improve) turn away from them, striking a temporary parting. Then if they become cooperative with you, do not seek any way against them. Surely, Allah is Most High, Most Great.   Surah Nisa (4:34)

 

The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) has declared that person to be the best of all who treats his family members kindly.  There is a Hadith in Jame’ Tirmidhi:

 

Translation: It is narrated on the authority of Hadhrat ‘Aisha (May Allah be well pleased with her), she says:  The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said:  The best among you is that person who is the best for his family and I am the best for my family than you all.  (Jame’ Tirmidhi, Hadith No. 4269)

 

The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) has asked men to be patient with women and to pardon their excesses.  There is a Hadith in Sahih Bukhari:

 

Translation: It is narrated on the authority of Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (May Allah be well pleased with him), he says:  The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said:  I exhort you to treat your women nicely.  You accept my exhortation, as woman has been created from the ribs (i.e. the side) ………..If you try to straighten out the rib, you will end up breaking it and if you leave it, it will remain crooked.  Thus, accept my exhortation about women.  (Sahih Bukhari, Hadith No. 3331)

 

The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) is so anxious about the comfort of women, that even while offering Salaat, if He would hear a child crying, He would shorten the Salaat keeping in mind the mother of that child.  (Sahih Bukhari, Kitaab Us Salaat)

 

There used to be an Abyssinian slave with the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam), by name Anjash, who would recite the specific poetry of camel drivers (Hudi).  Once in a journey, the Mothers of the Believers were also there and the camels were going fast that the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said:  O Anjash!  May Allah have mercy on you!  Take the glass vessels carefully.  (Sahih Bukhari, Kitaab Ul Adab)