How to treat our relatives?

Various verses of the Holy Quran direct us to treat our relatives nicely.  Those who cut off relationships are declared as those who spread corruption in this world and that they will suffer losses on the day of Qiyamah.  Allah Ta'ala says:

 

Those who break Allah's Covenant after it is ratified and who sunder what Allah has ordered to be joined, and do mischief on earth: these cause loss (only) to themselves.  Surah Baqarah (2:27)

 

We are ordered to treat our parents also in the best possible manner.

 

………treat with kindness your parents and kindred,………..Surah Baqarah (2:83)

 

If someone advises a relative or someone for the sake of good, then the person being advised should not get angry at it.  Allah Ta'ala will take the person to account who takes offence at scolding or advising for betterment. 

 

Speaking ill about someone behind their back, when what they are saying is true, is called "Gheebah" (backbiting) and the person who does it is a sinner.  Complaining to the head of the family to stop something wrong is not backbiting, provided the intention is to right the wrong and not to humiliate or hurt somebody. 

 

The people in the family should understand each other's nature.  They should keep the situation and the nature of the person in the mind and advise each person about what is good for them.  As given in Sahih Bukhari:

 

Translation of Hadith:  Deen (religion) is kindliness, for Allah Ta'ala, for the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam), for the Imams of the Muslims and for common Muslims. 

 

(Sahih Bukhari, Kitab Ul Iman, Pg No. 13)

 

Each person should fulfill their obligations and fulfill the rights of others, then Allah-willing, there will be no question of quarrels, etc. 

 

If someone hurts us and we break away relations with them, then neither is their hurting us correct and nor our breaking relations with them is correct.  We should try to convince your relatives, maintain our relationship with them and treat them nicely.  There is a Hadith in Jame' Tirmidhi about treating one's relatives nicely:

 

Translation of Hadith:  Hadhrat Abdullah bin Umar (May Allah be well pleased with them) narrates from the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) that the one who treats relatives nicely is not the one who treats others as they treat him (or her), but it is the one who joins relationships, when they get broken.  (Jame' Tirmidhi, Vol. 2, Hadith No: 1831)