Friendship - Whos, whats and whys

 [On the occasion of Friendship Day, we present a beautiful writing of Hadhrat Muhaddith-e-Deccan Syed Abdullah Shah Naqshbandi Mujaddidi Qadri (May Allah shower His Mercy on him) on friendship.  This article details the excellence of true friendship as described by Islam and precepts regarding friendship]

 

 

Hadhrat Abu Sa’eed Thauri (May Allah shower His Mercy on him) says:  When you desire brotherhood with any one, first upset that person.  Then secretly appoint a person to ask him about your secrets.  If that person speaks nicely of you and doesn’t reveal your secrets, then be friends with him.

 

Hadhrat Abu Ja’afar Jeelani (May Allah shower His Mercy on him) says: I saw a dream that a group of Sufis are sitting along with the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam).  Two angels descended from the sky.  One of them had an aiguière in its hand and the other a vessel.  The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) washed His blessed hands and those Sufis also washed their hands.  Those angels came to me.  Someone said:  Don’t pour water on his hands.  He is not from among us.  I entreated:  O Prophet of Allah (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam)!  Verily you had said:  The person who loves a group surely belongs to that group.  I love this group.  The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said:  Wash his hands.  He is also from this group.

 

My dear friends!  Loving those who love Allah Most High is also a great virtue and honor.

 

Hadhrat ‘Ali (May Allah be well pleased with him) says:  Those 20 Dirham which I spend on my friend are dearer to me than 100 Dirham which I give to someone who asks for it.

 

Hadith:  The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) says:  If a person remains in the company of someone even for a short time, on the Day of Judgment, he (or she) will be asked as to whether he fulfilled the rights of the company or if he just wasted the time.

 

Remain in the company of an intelligent person and/or a person of a virtuous disposition.  The company of a fool will lead to blandness, because when a fool desires to do you good, in his foolishness, he might do something which may harm you and he may not even realize it.  A fool is that person who doesn’t understand the reality of things.  Even if they are explained to him, he doesn’t understand.

 

There is no hope of security from an evil person.  When his evil stirs, he will forget your rights and will not even be affected by it.

 

Hadith:  The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said:  When 2 Muslims strike up a friendship for the sake of Allah Most High, then the one most beloved to Allah is the one who keeps his friend dearest.

 

The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) also said:  Almighty Allah will say on the Day of Judgment:  Where are those people who formed friendships for My sake that this day when there is no shade, I may keep them in my shade.

 

Hadhrat Mujahid (May Allah shower His Mercy on him) says:  When people who strike up friendships only for the sake of Allah Most High see each other and feel happy, sins drop off them the way leaves drop off trees in autumn.

 

There is much reward in the friendship which is formed on both sides for the sake of Allah Most High.

 

Hadith:  The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) says: Don’t belie the speech of your brother Muslim, don’t mock him and don’t break promises.

 

Hadhrat Ibrahim Nakha’i (May Allah shower His Mercy on him) says:  Don’t break off relations with a brother of yours because of any fault of his.  It may be that today he has made a mistake and tomorrow he won’t.

 

People asked Hadhrat Abu Darda (May Allah be well pleased with him):  Your brother Muslim sins, why don’t you oppose him?  Hadhrat Abu Darda (May Allah be well pleased with him) said:  I am tired of his sin, not of him as he is my Muslim brother.

 

Hadhrat Abu Sulaiman Darani (May Allah shower His Mercy on him) told one of his disciples:  When you see one of your friends behaving badly, don’t be angry at him.  It might be that by expressing your anger you hear something which is even more hurtful than the bad behavior.

 

Hadith:  The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) says:  When a person prays for his Muslim brother in his absence, the angels say:  May you also get this.

 

He (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) also said:  Prayer for friends done in their absence are not rejected by Almighty Allah.

 

Hadhrat ‘Ali (May Allah be well pleased with him) says:  That friend is the worst of all friends to whom you need to apologize………

 

Somebody told Hadhrat Junaid Baghdadi (May Allah shower His Mercy on him):  Sincere friends are rare in these times.  Hadhrat Junaid (May Allah shower His Mercy on him) replied:  If you want a friend who will serve you and share your sorrows then this type is rare and if you want a friend whom you will serve and share his sorrows, then these friends are abundantly found.

 

Hadith:  The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said:  Do a good turn to anybody whom you can.  If that person doesn’t deserve it, you are worthy of doing so.

 

He (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) also said:  After faith (Iman), beings friends with the creation and doing a favor to every pious and impious person is real intelligence.

 

The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) also said:  Almighty Allah loves those who have good behavior and those who treat others nicely.

 

Also said:  The good deed which leads to forgiveness is speaking pleasingly with everyone.

 

Hadhrat ‘Ali (May Allah be well pleased with him) says: When you want to be friends with someone, test that person’s deeds no the touchstone of the Shariah and the Sunnah.  If that person’s deeds are as per the orders of Allah and His Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam), take him (or her) as your friend, otherwise not.

 

Hadhrat Muhammad Waris (May Allah shower His Mercy on him) went to the house of Hadhrat Hasan Basri (May Allah shower His Mercy on him) along with his friends and ate whatever was present there.  When Hadhrat Hasan Basri (May Allah shower His Mercy on him) arrived, he expressed his happiness on this.

 

When one group of people did the same with Hadhrat Sufyan Thauri (May Allah shower His Mercy on him), he replied:  You have reminded me of the etiquette of the past elders.  They also did the same.

 

Hadhrat Fudhail bin’Iyaadh (May Allah shower His Mercy on him) says:  The mark of true friendship is that the respect for the friend in poverty should be more than when he was affluent.

 

Hadhrat Hamid Nadhaaf (May Allah shower His Mercy on him) says:  We have seen such people who used to do favors on their enemies as well.  People of these times make tall claims about friendship, but don’t even treat their friends nicely.

 

Hadhrat Hasan Basri (May Allah shower His Mercy on him) says:  We have seen such people that if any friend entered their house in their absence and saw a basket full of fruits, he would himself eat from it and give it to others also without taking permission.  When the friend, the master of that house, would come to know, he would be very happy.

 

Hadhrat Ibrahim Adham (May Allah shower His Mercy on him) says:  The mark of true friendship is that when anyone is upset, then they make immediate efforts to please each other.

 

Hadhrat Malik bin Dinaar (May Allah shower His Mercy on him) says:  There is no friend in these times who will help in matter of the hereafter.  Those who are there, they desire your friendship only for the sake of worldly needs and spoil your heart.  For that reason, think and judge carefully before making any friendship and remain aloof from such people.

 

[Excerpted from Mawaaiz-e-Hasana, Vol. 2, Pg. No. 197