Mothers Day

 Allah Most High has brought human beings into existence.  He has made the parents the means of bringing us into this world.  Almighty Allah has made parents an embodiment of affection and mercy and has obligated them to raise their children in the proper manner.  Children have also been ordered to serve their parents and fulfill the rights due to them.  The importance of fulfilling the rights of the parents can be understood with the fact that in the Holy Quran, Almighty Allah has mentioned nice treatment of parents immediately after mentioning His own worship and servitude.  It is given in the Holy Quran:

 

And your Lord has commanded you not to worship anyone other than Allah, and treat parents with benevolence. If either or both of them attain old age in your presence, then do not say even “Ugh” to them, nor reproach them. And always speak to both of them submissively, observing polite manners.  And always lower your wings of submissiveness and humility out of soft-heartedness for both of them, and keep supplicating (Allah): O my Lord, have mercy on both of them as they brought me up in (my) childhood (with mercy and clemency).  Surah Bani Israil (17:23, 24)

 

Allah has granted the parents a very lofty status and has ordered one and all to treat parents nicely.  Allah has described their rights along with His own rights and has declared their disobedience as a major sin.  There is a Hadith in Sahih Bukhari:

 

Translation: It has been narrated on the authority of Hadhrat Abu Bakrah (May Allah be well pleased with him) that the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said:  Shall I tell you which is the greatest sin?  We said:  Why not o Prophet of Allah (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam)!  Associating someone/something with Allah and disobeying one’s parents.  (Sahih Bukhari, Hadith No. 2511)

 

Disobeying parents is a very grave sin.  The punishment for this is given in this world as well.  There is a Hadith in Mishkaat Ul Masabeeh, Pg. No. 421:

 

Translation: It has been narrated on the authority of Hadhrat Abu Bakrah (May Allah be well pleased with him) that Allah may forgive whatever sin He wishes to, except disobedience of parents.  Allah punishes that person before death in this life itself.

 

In Islam, breaking off relation with any Muslim for more than 3 days is prohibited.  That someone breaks off relations with one’s parents for a period of 1 year is all the more wretched.  There is a Hadith in Sahih Bukhari, Vol. 2, Pg. No. 897:

 

Translation: It has been narrated on the authority of Hadhrat Abu Ayyub Ansari (May Allah be well pleased with him) that the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said:  It is not permissible for any person to break off relations with a fellow Muslim for more than 3 days that they come face to face with each other and they turn their faces away from each other.  The better of the 2 is the one who first greets the other with Salaam.

 

Even looking at the parents with love is a source of blessings and it gains one the reward of an accepted Haj.  The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said:  There is no obedient son who looks at his parents with kindness but that Allah grants him the reward of an accepted Haj in lieu of every glance.  The Companions asked:  If he does so 100 times every day?  The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said:  Allah is great and sublime.  (Mishkaat Ul Masabeeh, Pg. No. 421)

 

The parents have done so many favors to the children that even if the children spend everything that they have, it cannot be a return for whatever the parents have done.  Thus, the children should treat the parents as nicely as possible.  They should ask for forgiveness with utmost humility for the lapses that may have happened in doing so and should also ask the parents to forgive them.  The parents are the first ones who deserve our kind treatment.  There is a Hadith in Mishkaat Ul Masabeeh, Pg. No. 418:

Translation: It has been narrated on the authority of Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (May Allah be well pleased with him) that a person asked the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam): Who is most worthy of my kind treatment?  The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said:  Your mother.  He asked:  Then whom?  He was told:  Your mother.  He asked:  Then whom?  He was told:  Your mother.  He asked yet again:  Then whom.  He was told:  Your father.  (Sahih Bukhari, Hadith No. 5971)

 

Islam is such a complete code of life in which the rights of everyone have been detailed.  Islam has detailed not only the rights of human beings but also that of animals.  In regard to rights, there is no discrimination between Muslims and non-Muslims.  Thus, even if one’s mother is non-Muslim, Islam still orders that she should be treated kindly.  Almighty Allah says in the Holy Quran:

 

And if both of them contend with you that you should associate (others) with Me, of which you have no knowledge, then do not obey them. And cooperate with them in worldly affairs in a decent manner. But (in the matter of faith and the Last Hour and the related affairs) follow someone who adopts the path of turning to Me in repentance and submitting to My injunctions. Then you are to return to Me alone. So I shall inform you about the works that you used to do.  Surah Luqman (31:15)

 

There is a Hadith in Sahih Bukhari:

 

Translation: Hadhrat Hishaam bin ‘Urwa (May Allah be well pleased with him) narrates on the authority of his father that Hadhrat Asma bint Abu Bakr told him: In the era of the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam), my mother came to me in the hope that I will take care of her.  I asked the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam):  Can I treat her nicely?  He said:  Yes.  Hadhrat Sufyan bin ‘Uyainah (May Allah be well pleased with him) says that this verse of the Holy Quran was revealed about this:  Allah does not forbid you to be good to them and treat them with equity and justice who did not fight against you on (the question of) Din (Religion), nor did they drive you out of your homes (i.e., homeland). Surely, Allah likes those who conduct themselves with equity and justice (Surah Mumtahina-08)   (Sahih Bukhari, Hadith No. 5979; Sahih Muslim, Hadith No. 2372)

 

Here, some frequently-asked questions in this regard and their Shariah rulings are being mentioned.

 

If parents are at fault

 

Parents also have rights and a wife also has rights.  It is necessary to give the wife her rights.  The Shariah does not allow rights of one party trampled in fulfilling the rights of the other.  Thus, one should instruct one’s wife to behave well with the father and mother and not to allow any hard feelings to be created. 

 

Parents should also be requested that excesses should not be committed against anyone and that they should treat the daughter-in-law with affection and mildness.

 

If attitudes are changed on both sides and each one treats other with affection, then Allah-willing, the relations between your the and the parents will be cordial. 

 

Can we live separately if mother and wife fight with each other?

 

It is the responsibility of the son to fulfill the rights of the parents and take care of them.  At the same time, as a husband, it is the son’s responsibility to fulfill the rights of the wife and treat her nicely.  If one feels that by living in a joint family, one cannot fulfill both their rights, of the parents and the wife, then one may separate.  However, it should be kept in mind that whether one lives with your parents or separately, the rights of your parents that are due ought to be fulfilled.