SERVING PARENTS AND TREATING THEM KINDLY IS OUR FOREMOST RESPONSIBILITY

Allah Ta’ala has brought humans into existence and has made our parents the means of it.  The Lord Almighty has made parents into embodiments of mercy and affection and made it their responsibility to bring up their children in the right manner.  The stress on obeying our parents can be understood by the fact that Allah Ta’ala mentions obeying parents just after the commandment of His worship. 

 

And your Lord has commanded you not to worship anyone other than Allah and treat the parents with benevolence. If either or both of them attain to old age in your presence, then do not say even ‘Ugh!’ to them nor reproach them. And always speak to both of them submissively, observing polite manners.  (Surah Bani Israil, 17:23)

 

These are the words of Mufti Syed Ziauddin Naqshbandi Qadri, Naib Shaykh Ul FIqh, Jamia Nizamia, Founder/Director, Abul Hasanaat Islamic Research Center in the weekly lecture at Masjid Abul Hasanaat, Jahanuma on Sunday after Salaat Ul Maghrib. 

 

Mufti Sahab said that obedience to parents and serving them is the first and foremost responsibility of the children. 

 

There is a Hadith in Sahih Bukhari that a Sahabi (companion) came to the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) and said: O Prophet of Allah (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam), who most deserves my kind treatment.  The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said: Your mother is the most deserving.  He asked: After her? The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said: Your mother is the most deserving.  He again asked: After her? The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) replied: Your mother is the most deserving.  When he asked the same question for the 4^th time, the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said: Your father.  (Sahih Bukhari, Hadith No: 5971)

 

Mufti Sahab said about the wisdom of giving the mother a 3-fold kind treatment that the mother crosses 3 stages in which the father is not with her, pregnancy, labor and nursing.  For this reason, the mother’s right to kind treatment and service is 3 times more than that of the father.

 

Allah Ta’ala has kept His approval and pleasure in the pleasure and approval of the parents and His displeasure in the displeasure of the parents.  There is a Hadith in Shu’abul Iman of ImamBaihaqui and in Zujajatul Masabeeh:

Translation of Hadith:  The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said: Whoever starts the morning with obeying and/or serving his (or her) parents for the approval of Allah Ta’ala, then 2 doors of Jannah are opened for him (or her).  If any one of the parents is there, then one door is opened.  Whoever starts his (or her) morning in disobedience of Allah Ta’ala in matters of the rights of the parents, then one door of hell is opened.  If any one of the parents is present, one door of hell is opened.  (Shu’abul Iman, Hadith No: 7679; Zujajatul Masabeeh, Vol. 4, Pg No: 88). 

 

The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) also said: Whichever obedient son (or daughter) looks at his (or her) parents with love, Allah Ta’ala grants the reward of an accepted Haj with every look.  The Sahaba asked: If he does so 100 times in a day, will he get that much reward.  The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said: Allah Ta’ala is great and benevolent.  (Shu’abul Iman, Hadith No: 7611; Zujajatul Masabeeh, Vol. 4, Pg No: 88)

 

Disobeying parents is impermissible and forbidden.  Even if somebody is offering Nafl and his or her mother calls, then the command of the Shariah is that the Salaat should be postponed and the son or daughter should appear before the mother. 

 

Even if the parents are non-Muslim, Islam orders kind treatment for them.  There is a Hadith in Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim:

 

Translation of Hadith:  The mother of Hadhrat Asma bint Abu Bakr (May Allah Ta’ala be well pleased with them) came to her and she associated partners with Allah Ta’ala.  She asked the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam): My mother does not even lean towards Islam.  Should I treat her kindly? He (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said: Yes! You treat her kindly.  (Sahih Bukhari, Hadith No: 5979; Sahih Muslim, Hadith No: 2372)