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f:972 -    How to maintain relations in Joint family
Country : Hyd,
Name : Inayath
Question:     When we live in a house together, we have dealing and relations with many people.  In a joint family system, people anyhow have some complaint with others.  For e.g. a lady has complaint against another that you are spending too much or that you are using that thing too much.  For small things also, women hold grudges against each other.  Supposing a lady tells another to be careful about her spending and later regrets doing so, but has no other option as the other lady is in charge of the spending.  In this case, in the light of the Shariah, how wrong are both these women and how much have they hurt each other?
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Answer:     If a lady advises a relative or someone for the sake of good, then the lady being advised should not get angry at it.  Allah Ta'ala will take the person to account who takes offence at scolding or advising for betterment.  

Speaking ill about someone behind their back, when what they are saying is true, is called "Gheebah" (backbiting) and the person who does it is a sinner.  Complaining to the head of the family to stop something wrong is not backbiting, provided the intention is to right the wrong and not to humiliate or hurt somebody.  

The people in the family should understand each other's nature.  They should keep the situation and the nature of the person in the mind and advise each person about what is good for them.  As given in Sahih Bukhari:

Translation of Hadith:  Deen (religion) is kindliness, for Allah Ta'ala, for the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam), for the Imams of the Muslims and for common Muslims.  

(Sahih Bukhari, Kitab Ul Iman, Pg No. 13)

Each person should fulfill their obligations and fulfill the rights of others, then Allah-willing, there will be no question of quarrels, etc.  

And Allah knows best.

Mufti Syed Ziauddin Naqshbandi Qadri

[Professor, Islamic Law, Jamia Nizamia,
Founder/Director Abul Hasanaat Islamic Research Center]
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